just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
