I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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