Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
