VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
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