thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
