There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
