WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
