Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
