We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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