You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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