All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
