Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
