You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
