I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
