im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Randomize
