Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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