too bad you live with your parents still
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
