I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Randomize
