is your mom at the bar?
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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