I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
