Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
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