Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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