So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
