She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
When are your genitals available?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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