Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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