Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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