I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
