Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
