im drinking this country out of the recession.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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