I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
My liver just had a heart attack.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
