We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
