About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
