what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
