well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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