Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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