I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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