so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
