dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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