i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
