i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
