like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
