I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
