sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
