He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
