Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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