you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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