He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
