i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
