NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I pour the whiskey from now on
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
