Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
